Another Year, More Goals: Things I Want to Do Before I Turn 28

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On Thursday, when I turned 27, H. insisted on putting 27 candles on my birthday cake, even though I told him that in my family, we just scrounge around in the bottom of the kitchen drawers and see what candles we come up with. And sometimes those candles are just random numbers that don’t correlate with the person’s age, or sometimes it’s just one big candle.
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But H, apparently, has higher standards. As Chase was trying to light all 27 candles, it started to look like the first one might melt before he lit the last one. And that’s when I realized, holy shit, I’m not 17 anymore. Like, I knew that, because I’m aware of my age, but that’s so many candles!

Not that I’m complaining about my age. Girl, please. I firmly believe that growing old is a privilege, and it is, as an inspirational throw pillow might say, better than the alternative. And you know? Sometimes throw pillow wisdom is true. I mean, if someone spent all that time to cross stitch that message, you know they believe it.

Instead of seeing my birthdays as depressing proof that I’m getting one step closer to death’s door, I like to see them as reminders. Reminders that say, “You’re not getting any younger! Better get some shit done!” And so I always use my birthday as an opportunity to reflect on what I did the past year and, more importantly, make a goal list for the next year.

My 26th year was a pretty great one. Bad things happened, of course, but they were outnumbered by good things. I got a new job! I started getting paid for my freelance work! I got engaged! I got married! I met new friends! I attended a couple of great weddings! And then, of course, there were all the little things that make up a life…the dinners, the concerts, the early-morning walks, the nights spent reading books.

Goal lists don’t make your year great all on their own, but they do focus you. They force you to think about what you really want, and then work towards those things. My goal list includes a lot of things, like:

-Finish the quilt I’ve been working on since 3rd grade. I mean, really Kerry.

-Write a book (but you already knew that). I’ve got a good feeling about this one. I think this is my year.

-Buy a house! H. and I are not actively house-hunting yet, but we’re at the point where buying makes a lot more sense than renting. We plan on staying in Columbus for awhile and we want our own little place!

-Listen better. Everyone has a story and an experience, and a good writer listens and learns from everyone. I have a lot of work to do on this one.

-Make bread. I’ve never done it, and now I have a KitchenAid mixer with a dough hook. No excuses.

-Try Ethiopian food. Okay, so this one will be easier than the others, because Alex is going to come down some night and go with me.

What about you guys? Do you make goal lists on your birthday, or New Year’s, or any other day? And what are YOUR goals? Let me know! I love hearing about stuff like this.

Cover image via flickr.

Our Wedding Video

Are you guys tired of hearing about my wedding yet? Too bad, because it never ends! Okay, so it actually ends soon. I only have a couple more posts. But I wanted to be sure to share a video with you because I’m so in love with it. Our friend Chad filmed our wedding, and he made this lovely highlight reel for us. It’s set to our first dance song, Ain’t It Strange by Dr. Dog. Basically what this video shows is that I’m unable to stop laughing, like, ever, including during the ceremony. Whatever. Chad did such a great job with this video, and I love it so much.

Lady Tip: You’re Never Going to Wish You Did Something Less

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I’m very excited to have a guest post for you guys today. Even better, this post is from one of my very own brothers! I’m so happy that Alex wrote a Lady Tip for me, although I’m slightly worried that you guys will like him better than me and make his blog your new Welcome to Ladyville. He rarely (if ever!) posts photos of Dolly Parton, so be prepared. If you like this post, be sure to check out Ghost Court, especially this post, which is one of my favorites. And this one! Ugh, they’re all hilarious! Also, you may noticed that my brother is, in fact, not a lady. Lady Tips are for all of us! Ladies and fellas! Take it away, broseph!

The title’s not entirely accurate. Truthfully, it’s just wrong and a little grammatically confusing. There are plenty of things that, if you spent a great deal of time doing, you would regret. Hanging out in a sleepy opium den, for example. Even if you weren’t doing opium, that’s just a waste of time. Get out of that opium den and embrace the day!

Drinking, gambling, smoking, snorting almost anything, and hate-reading Quentin Tarantino interviews are more exceptions. Look, I may have just come up with that title because it sounded good.

Titles are hard. Giving advice is harder.

There is so much advice out there. At this point, I think it’s safe to say all the advice is out there. Unfortunately, advice is useless without context, and you need to provide the context. Several times, I’ve thought I made a real personal breakthrough, like, write-it-on-a-post-it-note-and-stick-it-to-your-monitor breakthrough, and then realized all of my seemingly complex thought are summarized by a cliched adage that’s been superimposed over countless photos of fields, beaches, and vintage bicycles on Pinterest.

What I’m about to say though is something that’s taken me 23 years to realize, and it’s a little sad, but it’s also true and kind of great.

In my experience, goodbyes are always disappointing.

Parties peter out. Hugs are short and awkward, with stilted, overlapping sentences. Sometimes, peoples’ hands are full. And a goodbye in public? With strangers shuffling past, getting a soda out of a machine, or reading their Kindle on a bench? Nothing is more tragic.

You graduate, planes take off, friends move away, and even though something ended, it doesn’t feel like you’ve moved on to the next level, because there are no cuts. There are no loading screens. There is no click, indicating you’re in the right position. You walk out the door, and there you are, still walking.

You can make a goodbye tolerable, but it’s hard to make it great, so don’t save it for the goodbye. Sometimes, there won’t even be a goodbye. Don’t wait. The good moments happen while they’re happening. Make sure you take advantage of that.

Scratch your dog behind his ears, because I guarantee you’re going to miss that. Get dinner with your friends and eat it slowly, then afterwards get drinks. Put down your work and go on an evening walk with your partner. And any compliment you think to give someone? Give it to them. Don’t wait for the goodbye.

The more you do this, the less power the goodbye has. You realize a goodbye is just a formality; a comma we hope doesn’t turn into a period. And ultimately, no one really cares about punctuation.

That is my lady tip. All of which can be found here, here, and here.

 

Thanks again to Alex for this great Lady Tip! If you’d like to write a guest Lady Tip, please shoot me an email at welcometoladyville@gmail.com.

Image via Flickr.

Lady Jam: ‘Brave,” Sara Bareilles

I’ve written about my love of Sara Bareilles before. At first I felt sort of weird about listening to so much Sara Bareilles, because I thought of her as a current-day Michelle Branch/Vanessa Carlton. But then I got over that, because Sara Bareilles is great (and Michelle Branch is very talented! And I genuinely enjoyed Vanessa Carlton’s A Thousand Miles, so there!).

Sara’s last album, Kaleidoscope Heart, was amazing. It got me through a rough period of my life. You know what? I’m just going to be 100% honest with you guys, because Welcome to Ladyville is a place for honesty…sometimes, in my long drive to my old job, I would cry in my car while listening to Sara Bareilles. Like, more than once. I can admit that now! It was clearly an album recorded by a confused, sad woman, and I was a confused, sad woman. My favorite song on the album was Let the Rain, which starts out with the lyrics, “I wish I were pretty/I wish I were brave,” which is comically sad, and exactly the sort of music I’m into. The song also includes the line, “I wanna cry until the end of time,” which…yeah. Listen, I was really overworked at the time, okay?

Anyway, I’m in a better place now. I don’t cry while listening to Sara Bareilles anymore. But do I still listen to Sara Bareilles? You bet! I’m all about her new single, which sounds a lot happier than the last album. Good for you, Sara. We’re all happy for you! As a bonus, the video for Brave was directed by Rashida Jones, who is a beautiful, talented inspiration to us all. I enjoy this song and I enjoy Sara’s outfit in it (even if said outfit does feature some Hot-Topic-when-I-was-in-high-school suspenders).

You can also watch some behind-the-scenes footage!

If you guys don’t listen to Sara Bareilles, I highly recommend her. Well, mostly for ladies. Ladies who are having bad days. Basically, if you’re going through a life change, a move, a breakup, or anything transitional, she’s your girl.

I Can’t Wait For the Magic Mike Sequel

Y’all know I love Magic Mike. It’s weird, dark, depressing, hilarious, and it involves Channing Tatum dancing to Ginuwine’s Pony. What’s not to like? I sincerely believe it was one of the best movies to come out last year, and I get that a lot of people don’t agree with me. Whatever. I know not everyone (okay, hardly anyone) shares my taste in movies. But I think we can all get excited that there’s going to be a Magic Mike sequel. This isn’t exactly breaking news, since Steven Soderbergh was talking about it back in April, but I just now heard about it. I don’t have a Magic Mike Google alert or anything (yet).

Anyway, I can only hope that the Magic Mike sequel is exactly like the Saturday Night Fever sequel. As you’ve heard me say before, SNF was dark, gritty, and upsetting. Staying Alive, however, was goofy, ridiculous, and completely unrealistic. Needless to say, I loved it.

Here’s the intro to Staying Alive, which includes one of my favorite songs ever (Far From Over by Frank Stallone) as well as some of the best dancing in the history of the world. Oh, and Red from That 70′s Show as a cantankerous dance instructor.

What I wouldn’t give to see Chan-Chan dance like that.

Oh, and then there’s this final (crazy) dance scene where John Travolta wears an absolutely insane golden loincloth and everyone just writhes around. This song gets stuck in my head all the time.

You guys see what I’m saying, right? I hope the Magic Mike sequel is just a remake of Staying Alive.