Thoughts I Had While Watching Rock of Ages This Weekend

I can’t believe I’m seeing this.

Seriously. My boyfriend suggested this? This is like Glee, and I hate it when they sing on Glee.

Wait, Justin Theroux is one of the writers?

Julianne Hough has such nice hair.

I wonder if she and Ryan Seacrest are really in love. I hope so.

I just…I just get so sad when I think about Russell Brand and Katy Perry. They really seemed like they were in love. And they had that Indian wedding, I think. I wonder what happened there?

Brian Cranston is starting to edge into Kevin Spacey territory. He’d better watch himself before things get worse.

I can’t believe I’m seeing this.

Why did we come to this? Like, why did we look up a showtime, get in the car, drive here, wait in line, buy a ticket and then sit down to see this movie? That took so much planning. I don’t even like hair metal; does H? I’m almost positive he hates musicals.

Oh, God. Alec Baldwin’s hair. That’s why we came to this.

Isn’t it weird that Alec Baldwin used to be so hot? I mean, like, he’s fine now. Most of the time, when his hair’s not like this. But he used to be really good looking. It’s like a lesser version of Jack Nicholson/James Spader’s Disease.

Maybe Katy and Russell just grew apart. They’re probably both really busy. Ugh, does true love even exist?

What does Catherine Zeta-Jones do to look that good? She must really take care of her skin. And stay out of the sun.

God, Julianne Hough is so pretty. Remember that workout DVD I have of hers? The one called, like, Just Dance or something? And she has that move she calls “The Bird” where she makes that “caw-CAW!” noise? I can’t believe I thought that was a good idea.

T.J. Miller is in this?! He really is in everything.

I wonder if Russell Brand ever thinks about Katy Perry. I bet he does.

I can’t believe I just watched that movie.

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