Bear with me, you guys, because I know this is my second post in two days about my engagement. But it’s not really about my engagement, because it’s also about apple crisp, and you can never spend too much time on apple crisp.
So after H. proposed and I cleaned myself up/put on a dress, we went to meet up with our parents at a restaurant nearby. Unbeknownst to me, H. had told both sets of parents about the engagement and instructed them to get dinner there so we could all celebrate together. It was really special! Anyway, if you know anything at all about me, you know that by the time I got to this restaurant I had one thing on my very emotional mind: dessert. There were choices for days–chocolate mousse! Creme brulee! Any other generic “fancy dessert” you can imagine!–but they all had one thing in common. Dairy! SO MUCH DAIRY. Since H. is Dairy Free 4 Life, he ordered the one dairy-free food on the menu, an apple torte. But, because life doesn’t take kindly to the lactose intolerant, the waiter came back to our table to tell H. that they were out of apple tortes, but that he’d be happy to bring him something else dairy free.
Do you want to know what the waiter brought him?
A bowl of berries.
Yeah. Just a bowl of fruit. Don’t get me wrong, I love fruit. Berries are great. And they’re totally not in season right now, so it’s always a treat to have them. But do you want to eat a bowl of berries when everyone around you is eating chocolate mousse? No! You do not!
Since Wednesday, I’ve been feeling bad that H’s part of our Engagement Dessert was so lame. So I decided to make it up to him last weekend by making Joy the Baker’s Man Bait Apple Crisp.
On her site, it’s referred to as Sit and Stay Awhile Apple Crisp, but it’s basically the same recipe as the Man Bait Apple Crisp in her book. If you’re wondering about the name, she explains that this recipe will woo a man like nobody’s business. Personally, I’m not particularly interested in bringing another man into my life because I already have one and this isn’t some kind of reverse Sister Wives situation I’m running over here. But I figured this apple crisp might kind of make up for the fact that H’s dessert was nothing but fruit on Wednesday.
And if you doubt the “man bait” claims of this recipe, I have both my own testimonial and Friend of WTLV Lauren’s testimonial. Quoth Lauren: “I made that for Jason a few months into dating. Now we’re shacked up and engaged. CASE CLOSED.”
As for me, I intended to make this for Hollis, but by the time the apple crisp was done, there were two other men downstairs. Man bait. I set a trap and ensnared MULTIPLE MEN.
So proceed with caution when it comes to this recipe. Apparently it will either cause marriages or just bring several men into your life. Do what you will with this information, but be careful out there.
Thanks-For-Proposing-To-Me-and-Sorry-You-Ate-A-Bowl-Of-Berries Apple Crisp
adapted from Joy the Baker’s website and cookbook
bake in a 9×13 dish
Filling:
8 to 10 medium-size apples, peeled, cored and cut into 1/4-inch slices.
6 tbsp granulated sugar
3 tsp cinnamon
Topping:
2 2/3 cups all-purpose flour
2 2/3 cups lightly packed brown sugar
1 tsp ground cinnamon
2 sticks unsalted butter, well-softened
1 1/4 cup finely chopped pecans (I used walnuts because they were like 2 dollars cheaper and I’m thrifty)
2/3 cup quick oats
Preheat the oven to 350. Generously grease a 9×13 baking pan.
Place a layer of apple slices in the bottom of the pan and dust with sugar/cinnamon mixture. Continue layering apples and dusting with cinnamon/sugar until done. Toss the apple mixture until evenly coated in cinnamon sugar. The apples should be just about to the top of the pan (they will cook down).
For the topping, place the flour, brown sugar, nuts, cinnamon and oats in a large bowl and stir well with a wooden spoon. Work the butter into the mixture with your fingertips until evenly distributed. Take one full handful of the topping and toss it into the sugared apple mixture. Spread the rest of the topping evenly over the apples.
Bake the crisp in the dish on a baking sheet on the center oven rack until the topping is crunchy and the apples are bubbling, 55-60 minutes. I served it with Tofutti Vanilla Ice Cream, because of the whole “no dairy” thing.
This is a really wonderful apple crisp. Take it from me, Lauren, and Joy the Baker. But really think about how many men you want to bring into your life before you make it.
Have you and/or Hollis tried the So Delicious brand of coconut milk ice cream? It’s really good, and this coming from someone (me) who would eat ice cream all day, every day if it wouldn’t result in her (my) imminent death. The fact that the word “Tofutti” is anywhere near your delightful-sounding apple crisp makes me sad in my heart, so I had to chime in.