Up until now, my celebrity crushes have been pretty normal. Jack Nicholson. Bruce Springsteen. Christian Bale (as Laurie in Little Women). Those are all understandable and perfectly ordinary. In fact, you might even think I have normal tastes in dudes.
But you’d be very, very mistaken.
I’ve always had crushes on slightly offbeat celebrities. In high school (when I was seventeen), I had pictures of Zach Galifianakis, Moby, and Bruce Campbell hanging in my locker. You guys should know by now that I’ve always been this way.
So it should come as no surprise that I totally have a crush on Jeff Goldblum. I’m sure I’m not the only one. I do feel a little bit uncomfortable about this one, because one of my high school friends looked like Jeff Goldblum. Well, actually he just said he looked like Jeff Goldblum, which is a lot different than actually looking like Jeff Goldblum.
This is all to say that I totally have a crush on Jeff Goldblum and I don’t care who knows it.
For starters, he could totally win any staring contest.
And he looks amazing with luscious locks.
I think we all know and love him from Jurassic Park. He did NOT meet a good end in that film, but he’ll live on forever in my heart (and in this blog post). Update: my friend Chad helpfully reminded me that Jeff Goldblum does not die in Jurassic Park. He doesn’t even die in Jurassic Park 2. What was I thinking? Why would I wish death on Jeff Goldblum? My humblest apologies, to all of you and especially Jeff Goldblum.
Most importantly, Jeff was in the movie Vibes with one of my favorite human beings, Cyndi Lauper. Incredibly enough, I’ve never seen this movie, although I do love the song Hole In My Heart, which is apparently used in the film. I love any man who can hold his own next to a force of nature like Cyndi.
You know what? We need another picture from Vibes.
That’s better.
The more I looked at pictures of Jeff Goldblum (and I can assure you, I looked at WAY more pictures of Jeff Goldblum than anyone needs to), the more confused I got. I’d always assumed Jeff G. was one of my weirder crushes. You know, the kind not everyone would agree with. But I started thinking…is he actually, you know, conventionally attractive?
My world was turned upside down. But then I saw this picture, and I was just like, what is this, even? What is that scarf? What is that look?
Maybe he IS conventionally attractive, but he’s also super weird. That’s just part of the Jeff Goldblum appeal.
I love this post. It’s the first time I’ve visited and already I’m in love!
I have always had a bit of a thing for quirky too, now I like my pretty boys (Bradley Cooper, Channing Tatum etc etc) but my ulitmate quirky, in-my-head-love-affair has to be Vincent D’Onofrio. Even when he’s over weight and unshaven…yums!
I’m so glad you’re here, Rachael! I love Channing Tatum, too. He’s about as bland as a piece of cardboard, but there’s still something I really love about him.
Never fear, weird celebrity crushee is here. I’m the one who is in love with John C Reilly and Steve Buscemi. I can say with the utmost confidence that Jeff Goldblum is in fact conventionally attractive, in a intense serious kind of way. Kind of like Ray Liotta.
Steve Buscemi! Totally agree!
Channing is the definition of pretty boy or a himbo as it were. He always reminds me the Welsh rugby player Mike Phillips who I am just a little in love with (I may or may not mentally be married to him).
So I was looking for a sign that I wasn’t the only woman who has a major crush on Jeff Goldblum after my mother said “you like ugly guys”. Needless to say, I’m very glad I found your blog. Thank you!