Hey laaaadieeeess! Are you stumped about what to get your man for Valentine’s Day? You should be, since men are basically a different species. But don’t fear! Here’s a list of 100% great ideas for V-Day gifts. Feel free to use some or all of them.
-Break all the clocks in his home, then make a card that says “Time stops when I’m with you!”
-A “Well-Behaved Women Rarely Make History” bumper sticker.
-A Drew Barrymore movie marathon.
-Organize a roundtable discussion for just the two of you about Lena Dunham and body positivity.
-Become Beyonce.
-Harrison Ford’s earring. Not one like Harrison Ford wears, but the exact earring he wears. How are you going to get this? I don’t know. I’m just giving you the best ideas, you need to execute them yourself.
-Order a pizza in the shape of a football. Create some sort of football themed nail art. Wear a football jersey. Order vanity contact lenses that look like footballs. Slowly, over the course of a year, turn into a football.
-Just quit nagging him for one goddamn day of your life.
-Framed photo of Harry Dean Stanton.
-Record yourself reading The Secret in as many accents as you can perfect.
-Full set of American girl books.
-Learn to play a Taylor Swift song on the guitar and sing it. Probably that one that’s about Jake (and also Maggie) Gyllenhaal. Dudes loves that stuff.
I lol’d.
I just go by the two b’s. Boobs and bacon. Not together.
Together would definitely be an interesting, if dangerous, V-day gift.
Definitely breaking all of our clocks this year. While he’s fixing/replacing all of them he’ll be thinking about how special this Valentine’s day was.
Isaac is lucky to have you!