Why We Broke Up by Daniel Handler and Maira Kalman

Even though I’ll be writing more in-depth about this book in the near future, I feel a duty to let you know about it now, because I don’t want you to go through another second of your life without having read it.
Believe it or not, it actually didn’t make me cry, even though I felt on the verge of dissolving into sobs the entire time I read it. And I cry a lot when I read, like this weekend when I finished a book and then I laid down on the couch to cry while my boyfriend watched TV, and he put his hand on my hand and said, “Do books always affect you this way?” because he’d really only seen me cry over a book once, and that was the New Year’s Eve 2010/Julie Orringer Incident. The answer is yes. Books do always affect me this way.

Go read this book. It’s one of the truest books I’ve ever read.

More John Waters

Rookie posted their full interview with John Waters! He’s a dream, like always. This quote particularly stuck with me:

And remember that a no is free. Ask for what you like, and get used to being turned down. Rejection is hard, but to get acceptance you have to put up with a lot of rejection. If you really like something, don’t ever think, Can I do this? If you think Can I? you won’t. You have to say, “I’m gonna do this, and nobody’s gonna stop me!” But you have to believe that, you can’t just say it. It might take really a long time, because people never say you’re good at first. Or if they do, you’re a flash in the pan and it’s over.

If you haven’t read Role Models yet, DO IT. It’s one of my favorites.

How About A Sick Day?

Yesterday I stayed home sick. Not because I had a hangover from Valentine’s Day fun, although I did have a great time. I am pretty honest with my boyfriend about the basic necessities I need to be happy on every major romantic holiday (Vday, anniversary, my birthday [the most romantic day of the year]): dinner and flowers/an Edible Arrangement. Guys are not mind readers. You might think they will “just know” you want fruit arranged in the shape of a bouquet and covered in chocolate, but I speak from experience when I say: they won’t know unless you tell them. So I made sure my desire was known, and guess who spent the night eating chocolate covered strawberries and pineapple carved in the shape of a flower? This chick! Insert “raise the roof” gesture HERE. I would’ve taken a picture, but give me a break. Edible Arrangements aren’t for photographing. They’re for eatin’.
So no, I didn’t just eat too much fruit and make myself sick. I actually contracted a killer cold, mostly because I spent the weekend taking care of my boyfriend and HIS cold (“taking care of” = opening a can of soup). I had some high hopes of getting a lot of writing done while I was sick, but that never happens. Instead I stared at the internet, slept for hours, and watched that episode of Gilmore Girls where Rory visits Jess at his weird book party and they kiss but then she’s like, “I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have come! This was almost an interesting plotline but I’m in love with Captain Boring/Logan.”
Anyway, maybe it’s just because I think I have fever-induced delirium, but I found these Text Messages From A Ghost to be laugh-out-loud hilarious. I want to quote it, but I’d just quote the whole damn thing.