Lady Jam: You Da One, Rihanna

I heard an interview with Jay-Z on NPR a while ago (an aside: there’s a sentence that sums up everything you’ll ever need to know about me. Love listening to Jay-Z, but he’d better be on Fresh Air!) where he offered up his explanation for why so much crotch-grabbing happens in hip-hop. Basically, he said that performers are nervous, and they often go from recording their album to playing a giant festival without ever learning how to be in front of crowds. Since they don’t know what to do on stage or where to put their hands, they instinctively reach to cover themselves. They feel, in a word, naked.

This is all just to say that I don’t think Rihanna’s ever been nervous about anything a day in her life. I imagine she’s stoned out of her gourd at all times. When I told Alex about Rihanna’s semi-recent hospitalization for exhaustion, he said, “What, did she walk up a flight of stairs?” So, while the Youtube comment typo “Why is she grabbing her crutch all the time?” might be hilariously apropo, I think we can all assume that Rihanna is not covering up her insecurity with false bravado. She’s just doin’ Rihanna.

Things I Actually Don’t Like About Gilmore Girls

Sure, Gilmore Girls is the best show ever, but that doesn’t mean it’s perfect. Far from it. These are some significant problems I have with the show, the things that make me roll my eyes, get super-frustrated, or complain to Alex.

1. The Logan Years. I get that Rory had to date a rich asshole. What I don’t understand is why it had to take up, like, 4 seasons. She could’ve been sleeping around, which would have been way more interesting.

2. All of the extras are terrible. Maybe this is only so noticeable because all of the main actors are so fantastic (seriously, when is Lauren Graham going to get more respect?), but, Lord, I just cringe every time some Inn guest or Luke’s customer stiffly delivers their lines. Children are the absolute worst. Insufferable.

3. The April storyline. Nope. Sorry. I will never, ever, like this. April was like a cartoon character who smashed everything that was good and pure about Loralei and Luke. I will forever hate her.

4. A real lack of minorities. This made sense in Stars Hollow, as small towns do tend to be predominantly white. And yet Stars Hollow somehow managed to have many more minorities than Yale. Just about every website I’ve found that lists this sort of thing puts Yale’s percentage of white students at around 40%. You’re bogus, Gilmores! Seriously, couldn’t one of Logan’s rich, asshole, white friends just as easily have been black? Couldn’t Rory date an Indian guy? Couldn’t she maybe accidentally bump into an Asian student in the hallway? These are the questions that keep me up at night.

5. Not enough Marty. This should’ve been a bigger plotline. You know it. I know it. Amy Sherman-Palladino’s top hat knows it. I’ve included a newer picture of Marty because looking really good is the best revenge.

6. Lane got the shaft. First off, Dave was the best boyfriend and nothing ever lived up to him. I actually grew to really like Zach, though. I mean, clearly this is the ideal date (they also ordered pizza, in case you don’t remember):

But you cannot tell me that getting pregnant with twins and staying in Stars Hollow was even remotely okay for Lane. It wasn’t. She got pregnant after having terrible sex one time on a beach! That isn’t fair!

7. The drunk driving. Why was everyone always driving drunk? I never noticed this until Alex pointed it out, and now I can’t stop noticing it. Loralei downed multiple cocktails at Friday night dinners, and you can try to tell me she ate a lot, but whatever. She’s a petite woman. She had to be buzzed. Logan was basically perpetually toasted and always driving. In one episode, Luke goes golfing with Richard, gets drunk, and calls Loralei. Despite the fact that he tells her he’s drunk, she tells him to drive himself home. Her advice? Drink coffee. LORALEI GILMORE. DID YOU MISS YOUR HIGH SCHOOL’S ALCOHOL EDUCATION CLASS BECAUSE YOU WERE HAVING RORY? There is no excuse. Amy Sherman-Palladino owes me a PSA about drunk driving.

Merry Christmas!

We did it! Approximately a month of Christmas jams (I don’t remember when I started doing this)! Some (Alex) said it couldn’t be done, but just look at us now. I hope you are spending time with friends/family and not reading my blog right now, but if you are, the best gift I can give you is two of my favorite Last Christmas covers. Pas/Cal is an old favorite, and I just found Saskatchewan a few days ago. Enjoy, and I’ll see you all in a few days!