Lady Style: Diana Ross

While my previous style icons were ladies (and Princes) I’ve admired for years, I am just starting to get in to Diana Ross. I’m discovering what this guy already knew: Diana Ross has always had fabulous hair, makeup, and style.

This photo looks like it was taken yesterday. I want to try this look with my hair.

The different hairstyles in these pictures suggest that she wore this rhinestone bodysuit on more than one occasion. Rhinestone bodysuits, as Cher would gladly tell you, and the height of glamour! Don’t relegate them to “wedding dress status” and only wear them once.

While I believe that all ladies are beautiful in their own way and that any of us can look glamorous with the right hair and makeup, you have to be born with some seriously bananas bone structure to look this glam in a tshirt and jeans.

The eyelashes!

I can’t even wrap my head around what’s going on here.

The more I look at this, the more I think I need to buy some false eyelashes.

This is Diana Ross doing the whole, “Oh, hello. I didn’t see you come in!” thing.

Finally, here’s the ultimate Diana Ross picture to go out on. She just caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and can’t believe how great she looks.

Here’s Some Advice: Don’t Eat Monte Cristos

Once, in my pre-H days, a dinner date of mine ordered a Monte Cristo. I told him it was disgusting. I can’t turn this off, guys. My natural charm just shines through!

Here’s some advice: I am all about “everything in moderation,” because that’s a cliche and I love cliches, but maybe just don’t eat a Monte Cristo. Especially not on a date. Do you really need to eat a battered and fried ham sandwich? Listen to your heart. It’s saying, “Don’t kill me.”

Comedienne Extraordinaire: Kristen Schaal

I’ve been busy lining up a summer of lady comedy, and if all goes according to plan, I’ll be seeing Kristen Schaal soon! I feel very close to her because she’s also a curly haired lady with a “unique” voice. Here’s her being funny:

And here she is being interviewed by Nylon. I love these Nylon interviews because they are always edited so strangely.

“I look like someone from a traveling circus, but, like, a sweet traveling circus.”
“I’m really into Beyonce today.”
“Well I love Tori Amos, and no one’s going to take that away from me.”

Blue Valentine: Haiku for You

Lexie and I had Brother-Sister Double Feature Movie Night last weekend, and we watched Blue Valentine. Afterwards I fell into a deep depression fueled by the squandered promise of love and too much Ben and Jerry’s Bonnaroo Blur. Hoping to make myself feel better, I suggested we make a list of all the couples we knew who’ve been happily married for awhile. This was actually a bad idea, because we only came up with two (our parents and Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson), and one of those couples we don’t even know. I mean, can you ever really know your parents?

If you’re interested in Blue Valentine, you’ve seen it by now, so I’ll spare you my Deep Thoughts. Accept this haiku instead.

This film was too real.
I thought I would cry. Instead
I just died inside.

I learned a lesson
About not getting married
to guys you don’t know.

Also don’t have sex
with Bobby Ontario.
That’s a stupid name.

Oh, Ryan Gosling.
Receding hairline still looks
pretty good, you know?