Lady Seminar: Stress Management for Women

Last week at work, I got an e-mail advertising a seminar called “Stress Management for Women.” I wasn’t aware that stress management techniques were different for men and women. Apparently, we ladies have special needs when it comes to stress!

Do you long for the ability to control the demands, pressures, and problems you face every day? Would you benefit from lowering your stress level and maintaining your composure in high-pressure situations? Get a handle on your tension and anxiety today!

As a woman, you face a unique set of personal and professional demands in your everyday life. The ability to manage the stresses of the workplace with those from your personal life can be overwhelming, especially when others seek you out for help with their problems and crises. Your emotions can also get in the way when you’re striving for perfection while juggling projects, priorities, and deadlines. Whatever stress triggers you struggle with … this training is here to help!

How I wish this seminar didn’t cost $199, or I’d attend myself and find out the secrets! As it is, I can only imagine the topics that will be covered:

-Penis Envy: How to Make it Work For You
-How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Oh My God I Can’t Stop Worrying
-How to Get Ahead in Business Without Really Having a Dick
-Working Around Your Period: How Understanding Your Cycle Can Change Your Management Style
-Boob: Who Needs PowerPoint?
-How to Stop Being Everyone’s Mom, Even Though You Want to be Everyone’s Mom
-Constructive Criticism, or Stop Crying, We’re Just Trying to Help You
-PMS Stands For Preventing and Managing Stress (And Also Pre-Menstrual Syndrome)

Office Style: Cher Edition

One needn’t relegate evening wear to evening-time! Any dress can be work-ready by adding just a few basic wardrobe staples and accessories. After your work day is through, you’ll be able to hit the town without missing a beat.


A bejeweled bikini might scream “dress code violation!”…

But wait! Cher adds a touch of modesty by layering a structured military jacket over the revealing garment. A dramatic collar draws eyes to the face and away from cleavage. A hat might seem stuffy, but a bright red feather shows personality. This isn’t your mother’s shako! Keep hair and makeup simple (as Cher does), and remember: vertical rhinestone stripes give the illusion of a slimmer figure.

Things I’ll Say to Defend My Clothes on My Episode of “What Not to Wear”

“But it’s so comfortable!”
“That’s from my grandma!”
“This t-shirt used to be my dad’s!”
“I’ve had this since high school!”
“That only cost fifty cents!”
“What if I need a denim skirt someday?”
“I might need that for a Halloween costume.”
“I’ve had this since junior high!”
“That used to be my brother’s!”
“What if I lose all my other pairs of jeans and I need to wear those flare legs?”
“I’m gonna turn those into cut offs.”
“My mom wore this in the 80s!”
“That reminds me of Cher!”
“What if I need pink boots someday?”
“But I like denim jackets!”
“I can fix this hole.”


Stacy and Clinton don’t approve of the Niagra Falls t-shirt my dad bought in the 80s.