Just like with Elizabethtown, I’m not saying Post Grad is really the best movie. I’m not even saying it’s a particularly good movie. But I am saying I love this movie, even if no one else I know has seen it.
It came out right around the time I graduated from college, when both the economy and I were terrifically depressed. I was in a pretty awful headspace then, and what can I say? Post Grad spoke to me.
First off, it stars Rory Gilmore and Matt Saracen, and if one or both of those names doesn’t mean everything to you, then we probably can’t be friends.
Rory plays Ryden Malby, but I refuse to accept that name on the grounds that it sounds like a type of weird cracker. So Rory and Matt, who are childhood BFFs, just graduated from college. Rory ends up not getting her dream publishing job because some chick with a ‘tude who looks about 40 gets it. So Rory has to live with her family, which shouldn’t be a chore at all because they are the stuff my sitcom dreams are made of. Michael Keaton is her dad, Jane Lynch is her mom, and Carol Burnett is her grandmother. Give me a break.
Anyway, Rory can’t get a job because of the economy, I guess? But mostly because she’s in LA. I don’t know that much about publishing, but even I know that the vast majority of publishing jobs are in NYC. Like, duh. So anyway, she takes a job at her dad’s store and she has to wear this, for some reason. Would you ever buy anything from someone wearing this uniform? No you would not. Don’t make that face at me, Rory. I’m on your side.
Matt works at a grocery store. I think? Either way, they have a genuinely charming scene where they hang out in a grocery store and we all find out that he’s nursing a serious crush on her. I mean, of course he is. Like any man can resist those Rory Gilmore baby blues.
Rory inexplicably doesn’t care about Matt’s crush on her because…I don’t know. Like, if Matt Saracen himself has a crush on you, you should marry him. If Matt Saracen says jump, you say how high, and also you ask why this character hasn’t been developed at all. Don’t get me wrong, he’s still a great love interest because Matt Saracen has a natural charm, but what’s his deal? What’s his family like? What are his hopes and dreams? What does he like other than playing guitar, basketball, and tagging along while Rory tries on weirdly fitting dresses?
Either way, Rory has a thing for this strange old dude who lives across the street from her family. He has inflatable furniture that they have an uninspired make out sesh on, to which I say BFD. Cool 21 Grams poster, bro.
Can he play a guitar like Matt Saracen? I THINK NOT.
A bunch of stuff happens, and eventually that weird 40 year old girl gets fired from the publishing job Rory wanted so she gets it. When she goes to brag to Matt about it, he’s all “Sorry, gurl, I’m going to law school in New York,” and she’s all:
Too late, Rory. You should’ve appreciated him when you had him! Matt Saracen waits for no (wo)man!
At least it seems like Rory’s job is going really well. Her boss is Andy Daly, for starters.
Yet she still misses Matt. And here begins the most confounding ending of any movie, ever.
She quits her job and decides to surprise Matt in New York. I have a lot of problems with this! First, she worked so hard for that job! Well, actually she didn’t. She interviewed once and then basically did nothing until that other lady quit. But either way, it was her dream job and at no point did it seem bad. Secondly, why didn’t she give Matt a call first? Send a few emails? Some texts? Some sexts, even. Something other than just showing up in New York.
So that’s weird, but here’s what’s really weird. When she gets to New York and finds his place, she mosies on up to his room and says this:
Which is nice. I guess. I mean, there are definitely worse things you can say.
But then she looks over his shoulder and sees a girl in his room. Since this is a romantic comedy, she’s legally obligated to run away before getting an explanation. Matt chases her down oustide and says, “That was just my RA.”
Okay, imagine a record scratch. Did you imagine it? Good. RA? Why in God’s name does a person in law school live in a dorm and have an RA? Granted, I don’t know much about law school, but it’s weird to live in a dorm in, like, your junior or senior year of undergrad, let alone law school.
But Rory doesn’t care about this lapse in logic because finally, she and Matt are together! And she’s wearing a really cute coat! And they kiss! And she says, “I love you,” and he responds, “Good, because I love you too,” which is probably the least romantic thing I’ve ever heard in my life.
If that didn’t make you want to watch Post Grad, please know that I didn’t even get into the subplot about Rory’s dad Michael Keaton going to jail. It’s like Say Anything lite, but without anyone from Frasier. Oh, and there’s a boxcar derby race. There’s a lot going on in Post Grad.
So, okay, I’m not saying this movie makes even a little sense. All I’m saying is that I will watch it anytime, any place, and get incredibly invested in the romantic story line even though I already know how it will end. That’s all I want out of a movie.