Posts Tagged: beyonce

Lady Tip: Make Friends With People Who Intimidate You

women trophies
By now, you’ve read Ann Friedman’s article on why powerful women make the best friends, right? In it, she writes about how some of us (even feminists) have the sorta gross tendency to avoid making friends with women who seem too cool. Too put together. Too important. Too intimidating.

She uses Kelly Rowland and Beyonce as an example. Kelly is successful, talented, and glamorous…but how does she compare when stacked up next to Beyonce, one of the most successful, talented, and glamorous women in the world? Who would want to be compared to that?

Friedman writes, “When we meet other women who seem happier, more successful, and more confident than we are, it’s all too easy to hate them for it. It means there’s less for us.”

And I get that. Personally, I used to totally avoid women I saw as too smart, confident, and successful. Not because I thought they had something I wanted, necessarily. No, it all goes back to my weird self-esteem. I always assume I’m the dumbest, worst-dressed, least-accomplished, most boring, least-liked, and least-attractive person in the room. I mean, always. So when I was presented with a lady who just seemed together, someone who was smart and funny and (this part is important) confident about it, my first instinct was to run like the wind! Flee! Find a corner where I could huddle in shame!

But then I realized that, of course, the lady friends I already have are extremely smart, accomplished, and awesome. And if they’re so fun to be around, maybe I shouldn’t write off every women who displays this crazy thing called “confidence” in her abilities as someone who would never want to hang around with lame old me. Maybe, instead, I should actually try to be friends with that person and, you know, be a normal human being.

To be honest, I probably really am the least-accomplished person amongst my lady friends. They are incredibly smart and funny and they always dress really well. They have multiple degrees (including PhDs), killer jobs, knowledge of things I can’t even begin to understand, and they do cool things like “start kitten fostering programs” or “join roller derby teams.” And they’re adventurous and hilarious and did I mention really, really well-dressed? I mean, I can’t compete with that. I just sit in front of my laptop all day. But I’m fully convinced that just knowing them makes me a better, more awesome person, and I want to actually try to get to know more awesome women instead of assuming I could never be friends with them.

We should all let our friends build us up, not make us feel worse about ourselves, you know? Smart, accomplished women can introduce us to new things, teach us about stuff we don’t know, and just make us better people. What about you guys? Do you love having an impressive group of powerful lady friends? And do you have the same hangups I do when it comes to meeting confident women? Ugh, self-esteem, you guys!

Image via Flickr

Lady Inspiration: Kathleen Hanna

“Beyoncé isn’t Beyoncé because she reads comments on the Internet. Beyoncé is in Ibiza, wearing a stomach necklace, walking hand in hand with her hot boyfriend. She’s going on the yacht and having a mimosa. She’s not reading shitty comments about herself on the Internet, and we shouldn’t either. I just think, Would Beyoncé be reading this? No, she would just delete it or somebody would delete it for her. What I really need to do is close the computer and then talk back to that voice and say, Fuck you. I don’t give a shit what you think. I’m Beyoncé. I’m going to Ibiza with Jay-Z now, fuck off. Being criticized is part of the job, but seeking it out isn’t. That’s our piece to let go.”

— Kathleen Hanna, BOMBlog interview

Found via Stephanie Perkins

Wednesday Links (Relating to Solange Knowles)

Sorry, guys, all I care about right now is Solange Knowles.

This article by Kate Spencer was on HelloGiggles yesterday, and it pretty clearly outlines why Solange is the best human being ever.

Her blog is called My Damn Blog, and it’s full of pictures of her looking gorgeous. I mean, that outfit in the picture above? I need it!

And obviously Sandcastle Disco is the best song ever recorded.

Oh, and she was on Yo Gabba Gabba because DUH OF COURSE SHE WAS.

I used to think Beyonce was the most beautiful woman in the world, but now I just don’t know what to think. I hope you guys will support me in my time of questioning.

Christmas Jam: 8 Days of Christmas, Destiny’s Child

What did Destiny’s Child get for the 8 days of Christmas?

A pair of Chloe shades and a diamond belly ring
Nice back rub, foot massage
Cropped jacket and dirty denim jeans
A self-penned poem
A candle-lit dinner
A gift certificate to buy CDs (?)
Keys to a Mercedes
Quality T-I-M-E

Those are some wildly inconsistent presents. Like, why are you buying someone a gift certificate when you’re also getting them a car?

Lady Inspiration: Beyonce

As a child I trained myself to dance in very high heels. At 13, in Destiny’s Child, we were told to wear heels, but at first we couldn’t walk in them. We couldn’t keep our knees straight. But we learned, and that became the image of Destiny’s Child: so young and so glamorous. Now I have a rule that my dancers have to wear their heels when I’m wearing my heels. They say, ‘Please take your shoes off, Beyoncé.’ At home, I’m always barefoot. And I have a heavy walk without heels. When they hear me thumping through the house, they say, ‘Oh, Beyonce’s up!’ – Beyonce in W Magazine

I consider myself a lady, but I can’t walk in heels. Just can’t. Dorothy Michaels looked better in heels than I do. Maybe all I needed was a Svengali-like father-manager to force me to wear uncomfortable shoes when I was a child.

Also, how much do you like to think of Beyonce’s “heavy walk”? I can’t stop thinking about Bey stomping around the house and it’s making me so happy.