Posts Tagged: changes

Big Changes and Hard Work

I don’t talk about my job much on Welcome to Ladyville for a couple of reasons. First, I think it’s in bad form to talk about your job online, period. Second, hearing about someone’s job is usually pretty boring unless they’re, like, an ice-road trucker or something, or if they have lots of terrible stories.

I am going to break my self-imposed rule and talk about work for a moment, because I have some big news: I’m starting a new job next week! Okay, so this might not be big news for you, but for me it is. This new job comes almost exactly a year after I moved to Columbus, and it will change my lifestyle in a lot of important ways. Most importantly, it’s a writing job. That’s right…I’m going to get paid to write! That’s the most exciting part for sure, but there are so many other perks. It’s a great company that seems like a perfect fit for me. It’s in my neighborhood, and while working close to home would be welcomed by most people, it’s especially great for me. See, for the past year I’ve been driving over an hour each way to work. Yes, over an hour. Each. Way. Every. Day. I know this doesn’t make a lot of sense to…well, to anyone I’ve talked to over the past year. But the thing is, when I realized I needed to move to Columbus, I knew I couldn’t wait until I found a job. When I get an itch to do something, I’m not patient about it. I needed to move first, ask questions later, and so I did.

I am, to put it mildly, excited about my new job. And the reason I wanted to talk about it a little on the ol’ blog, despite my “no job talk” rule, is because I feel like it relates to a lot of what I usually talk about here. I got this job, in part, because of the writing I’ve been doing online. The writing I’ve been doing at nights, on the weekends, on my lunch breaks, in every second of “free” time I had for the past year. And while I realize a lot of people might think it’s tacky to talk about how hard I’ve worked to get what I want, I don’t think it’s tacky at all. Or maybe it is, and I just don’t care.

Because here’s the thing: so many people don’t like to admit they worked to get the things they want. By people, I mean women, mostly. Whenever we accomplish something, we’re supposed to smile humbly and say something to the effect of, “I just got lucky!” as if we stumbled onto this opportunity by accident. This might seem innocuous, but by denying our work we’re not only harming ourselves, but other women, as well. None of us get anywhere by accident, and to act like we do is to deliberately lie to each other. It’s fine, I think, to admit exactly how we got from point A to point B, and how we hope to get to point C.

In a lot of ways, it seems like I got this job suddenly, but it wasn’t sudden at all. I worked hard for it, and you know what I realized? I’m tired. Like, really tired. And that’s okay! Sometimes, over the past year, I was so exhausted I cried. I was so tired I started fights with my boyfriend about absolutely nothing. I was so tired I couldn’t really ever go out and do anything, not even dinner, on weeknights. I was so tired that on Fridays, I typically fell asleep as soon as I got home from work and slept through the night. And all of that is just fine. I couldn’t work a day job, use my nights to write, and get a full night of sleep, have an active social life, and be a perfect girlfriend. That old line about women “having it all” is just that. A line. I’ve been sleeping less than 6 hours a night for the past year, and guess what? It sucks. I feel terrible, like, 75% of the time and if I even sit down for too long, I’ll fall asleep. That’s not fun. But, frankly, my goals matter more to me than just about anything (excepting my family, friends, and boyfriend, obviously), and I don’t feel the need to ever pretend like I’ve achieved them by accident.

Way back when I was in the process of moving to Columbus, I was packing up my stuff and looking for an apartment while buying a car and dealing with a lot of personal problems and trying to write everyday. It was extraordinarily stressful, to say the least, and one day I was complaining to my dad about how I couldn’t handle it all. That’s how I felt; like I literally couldn’t handle all the things I was trying to do (it’s worth noting that I, um, don’t exactly handle stress well. Usually tears are involved). He told me something that I still think about all the time: “Once you get through all of this, you’ll know you can handle it, and it won’t seem so hard next time.”

That might seem trite, but things seem trite when they’re true. Sometimes things seem overwhelming, but you can almost always get through them, and then you know you can do it. Is that cheesy? Totally, but you should know by now that I don’t care about stuff like that. This new job is a big, big step towards Living My Truth, Oprah-style (side note: self-help books are always trying to get my to Live and/or Speak My Truth, and honestly, I still don’t really know what that means. That doesn’t stop me from saying it semi-sarcastically, though!). I owe a lot of it to you guys! Writing my posts on Welcome to Ladyville gave me the confidence to start submitting writing to websites, which led to me being published on websites, which led to a lot of great things, including getting this job. I can’t thank you enough for all of your comments and support…I really do feel like we’re a community of lady-friends who all want the best for each other. Getting this new job means I’ll be doing something that interests me during the day, and I’ll finally have time to sleep a healthy amount, get more exercise, and hopefully not be as much of a grouch. Finally!

I hope, if you’re in a position right now where you’re scared to make a change, you’ll take a small step today towards your goals. No one understands the fear of change more than me. My fear of change is, like, my most defining personality trait. Your goals and your life are totally worth it, though. When I started writing not that long ago, I had no connections and no credits. If I can do it, you can do it. Trust me. And by “do it,” I mean “achieve a small fraction of my life goals that totally aren’t that impressive to anyone but me.” Listen, you guys, all I want is for you to find your paid writing job in the sky.

In conclusion, here’s an inspirational song from our girls Garfunkel and Oates. Go for it!

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

In a very short time, I’ll be doing something I’ve been wanting to do for, oh, three years now: moving!

I’ve mentioned my yearly goal lists before. This year’s goal list included something that I knew would be difficult for me: moving out of the ‘ville. Truthfully, I never intended to stay here this long after I graduated. Actually, I didn’t plan to stay here at all, but life happened and I needed money and I’m very attached to my family and I’m afraid of change and LONG STORY SHORT it finally hit me this year that I’m very unhappy living here. One of my biggest pet peeves is people who complain about problems that they can easily solve instead of taking action, and yet, here I was. Sending “I’m so lonely” e-mails to my best friend at night because literally not a single friend lived within an hour of me, and there wasn’t a coffeeshop or bookstore within 30 minutes, and they only people I’d seen that day were men over 50 (my coworkers), and I hadn’t made a new friend in approximately forever. I rationalized all the reasons I was stuck. I have a job here! This is a good job! I could never find a place in Columbus I could afford! And on, and on, and on.

But you know what? Do you think when Lady Gaga turned 25 she was like, “Oh, I guess I will just coast through this year doing things the same way I always have.” No way. Lady Gaga never stops reinventing herself, and neither should I. So last week I signed a lease on my dream apartment, and I couldn’t possibly be more excited to move in. I’ll be close to my friends, my favorite stores, restaurants, coffee shops, and probably even some things that don’t involve food. Or, I don’t know, most of the things I’m excited about involve food. Whatever.

I’ve made a lot of changes this year, big and small, and probably to you guys they would all be NBD. But, since we’re all friends here at Welcome to Ladyville, I can admit that I have a hard time with change. I’m most comfortable reading a book on my couch until I forget about the ways I’m unsatisfied. I know you are all surprised by this because I present myself as so cool and together on this blog (ha…kidding, guys). But I made a promise to myself that my 25th year would be my best one yet and that I would do everything I could to make my dreams come true, Hall and Oates style.

I’m excited about where my life’s headed for the first time in a long while. Even though I’m actually going to be dealing with some pretty big inconveniences (I hate the process of moving, and, oh, did I mention I’m keeping my job and will be driving an hour both ways everyday? Like I said, problem with change! And I like my job), I feel like that cliched, metaphorical weight has been lifted off of me. I can’t wait to make new friends, reconnect with my old ones, and explore my interests more fully.

I only intended for this post to explain why I won’t be posting much this week, but I somehow turned it into this cheesy, personal thing. I promise that very soon I’ll be back to talking about Drake, my boobs, Zooey Deschanel, and all the weird stuff I bought at a thrift store. But I also wanted to tell you guys how much it really does mean to me that you read the silly things I post everyday, leave me comments, post links on your Facebook pages, tell your friends about the blog, etc. I am so touched when my friends take time to read the blog, and I’m equally excited when someone I don’t even know personally lets me know that they’ve been reading. The support and encouragement I’ve received from this little blog have given me the courage to do a lot of things I don’t know if I could have done otherwise. I DON’T WANT TO GET TOO EMOTIONAL, YOU GUYS! But I think it’s too late! I love you all!

Anyway, the impending move means I have a lot of packing to do this week. Who has two thumbs, 7 boxes of books, and an inherited tendency to be a pack rat? This girl! So I might not be posting on my typical, every-day-at-6 schedule. Not that I necessarily think you will care or notice, but there it is anyway. Look forward to lots of new posts when I move on topics like: Decorating your home using only things you found at the thrift store! Trying to make new friends while being really socially awkward! Getting really, really skinny because you spent all your money on home decor items and now all you can afford to eat is ramen noodles and frozen vegetables! Trying new restaurants even though you shouldn’t be spending money on restaurants but you have weird priorities! The things you think of when you spend two hours a day in a car! There’s a lot to look forward to.