Posts Tagged: Lady Stuff

Lady Tip# 3.5: More, More, More Self-Promotion

After my post on self-promotion, I found this super-informative video from Design Sponge. It’s all about, you guessed it, reupholstering furniture.

Just kidding. It’s about self-promotion, duh. I know all of the Welcome to Ladyville readers are great writers, crafters, bakers, artists, and performers, so I couldn’t help but share it with you. Also check out the Design Sponge Biz Ladies blog for more useful tips.

Image via Design Sponge.

A Conversation Between My Boyfriend and Me

After reading this article on Yes and Yes about being childless by choice:

H: That just seems really cut and dry to me. Like, an article on being childless sounds boring.
Me: I did an entire presentation on the childfree movement in college! In my women’s studies class! It’s anything but cut and dry!
H: Oh. (long pause) Was it boring?

Anyway, as it turns out he didn’t know about doctor refusal to grant tubal ligation or, like, anything about being childfree because (as A Dude) he doesn’t have to worry about that sort of thing.

As for me, I plan on raising a small army of children someday (or 3. So it’s a really small army), but respecting other women’s choices is what being a feminist is all about. Super interesting!

Please, Someone Give Lena Dunham Some Pants

This weekend, I watched Tiny Furniture, a movie I’d been wanting to see for a long time. I didn’t really like it, which isn’t the point. I think Lena Dunham is very funny and talented and interesting, and I’m not saying it’s a bad movie. It’s just, I felt like Aura was a friend I liked but who was making really terrible decisions repeatedly, and I could say things like, “Hey, maybe you shouldn’t have unprotected sex in a pipe” all I wanted, but it wasn’t going to stop her from having unprotected sex in a pipe, you know? You know.

So anyway, Lena Dunham’s show Girls is coming out soon, and I’m pretending it even matters that I’m kind of excited about it. I don’t even have television, let alone HBO. I also don’t understand how to download things (imagine me, swatting at my computer feebly, like a monkey trying to understand the glowing box). It looks funny, but the bigger point is that I’m concerned about Lena Dunham. Not even about her character’s unprotected pipe sex this time.

Lena Dunham, where are your pants? Aura spent the majority of Tiny Furniture sans pants, to which I say whatever. She is a woman in her (mother’s) own home. She is free to not wear pants, I guess. She was without pants so much that it started to seem strange, but I figured it was just a character choice Lena Dunham made. Then I watched the trailer for Girls, and guess who isn’t wearing pants AGAIN? LENA DUNHAM! It’s starting to seem less like a character choice and more just like a personal preference Lena Dunham has for pantsless living.
No pants, like usual

I understand this, in theory. I wear skirts almost every day because I find tights more comfortable than jeans, and the second I get home I change into yoga pants. But I am covering the lower half of my body, which is an important thing for me. I guess what I’m asking is: Is it normal to just not wear pants whenever possible? Because here’s my thing…the appeal of wearing no pants is comfort, right? But how am I supposed to feel comfortable knowing that someone could show up to my apartment at any moment, and there I would be, no pants? There’s a scene in Tiny Furniture where Lena Dunham has to wrap a blanket around her body to answer the door because she isn’t wearing pants. I don’t want to wrap a blanket around my body! I want to be ready to greet the world. Also, what if there’s a fire? Every second counts. You don’t have time to be grabbing pants. Also again, I don’t have blinds up in my kitchen yet, and if you’re walking by just the right way you can kind of see into the living room and, you know what, forget it. You don’t need a detailed description of my place.

Maybe this is just a personal quirk of mine, because I’m going to be honest with you, I like to do my hair and makeup all the time. Even when I’m staying at home and no one is going to see me. Judge away! Call me a vain, naracissistic asshole! I literally cannot concentrate on anything I’m doing if I know that my blow dried, non-straightened hair is looking like this:

And you know what? Last week I was sick, and everyone at work kept telling me how terrible I looked and that I should go home. And the thing was, I knew I didn’t look bad because I was sick. I just didn’t wear makeup all week. That’s how bad it is, you guys. I need to be wearing makeup all the time. I just…I just need to be kind of put together. Just a little bit. I need to be wearing pants.

So, frankly, Lena Dunham, I don’t understand you and your pantsless ways. Not one bit.

Lady Inspiration: Beyonce

As a child I trained myself to dance in very high heels. At 13, in Destiny’s Child, we were told to wear heels, but at first we couldn’t walk in them. We couldn’t keep our knees straight. But we learned, and that became the image of Destiny’s Child: so young and so glamorous. Now I have a rule that my dancers have to wear their heels when I’m wearing my heels. They say, ‘Please take your shoes off, Beyoncé.’ At home, I’m always barefoot. And I have a heavy walk without heels. When they hear me thumping through the house, they say, ‘Oh, Beyonce’s up!’ – Beyonce in W Magazine

I consider myself a lady, but I can’t walk in heels. Just can’t. Dorothy Michaels looked better in heels than I do. Maybe all I needed was a Svengali-like father-manager to force me to wear uncomfortable shoes when I was a child.

Also, how much do you like to think of Beyonce’s “heavy walk”? I can’t stop thinking about Bey stomping around the house and it’s making me so happy.


“I put a microwave on my first vision board. My sister walked by my vision board and said, “You want a f***ing microwave?! That’s ridiculous. I’ll give you a f***ing microwave!” Boom! Manifested!”- Maria Bamford

One of my favorite things about Maria Bamford is that she talks about lady things. You know, like O Magazine. And vision boards. I’m not saying all ladies are into this kind of thing, but this lady is certainly open to them. I don’t believe in astrology, but yes I do check my horoscope and think about it often and sometimes I find myself thinking things like, “Holiday Mathis TOLD me this would happen!” So who am I to judge someone and their vision board? I don’t think I have much to gain by being cynical, so I try to be as open as possible to New Age-y spiritual experiences. We should be filters, not sponges, and you’re not being a very good filter if you’re not letting anything through at all (ugh, overwrought filter metaphor alert).
Clearly I’m trying to justify why I checked this out from the library.

If you need something from me, you’d better hit me up soon, because I’m gonna be super rich and famous in a minute here.