I’m very excited to have a guest post for you guys today. Even better, this post is from one of my very own brothers! I’m so happy that Alex wrote a Lady Tip for me, although I’m slightly worried that you guys will like him better than me and make his blog your new Welcome to Ladyville. He rarely (if ever!) posts photos of Dolly Parton, so be prepared. If you like this post, be sure to check out Ghost Court, especially this post, which is one of my favorites. And this one! Ugh, they’re all hilarious! Also, you may noticed that my brother is, in fact, not a lady. Lady Tips are for all of us! Ladies and fellas! Take it away, broseph!
The title’s not entirely accurate. Truthfully, it’s just wrong and a little grammatically confusing. There are plenty of things that, if you spent a great deal of time doing, you would regret. Hanging out in a sleepy opium den, for example. Even if you weren’t doing opium, that’s just a waste of time. Get out of that opium den and embrace the day!
Drinking, gambling, smoking, snorting almost anything, and hate-reading Quentin Tarantino interviews are more exceptions. Look, I may have just come up with that title because it sounded good.
Titles are hard. Giving advice is harder.
There is so much advice out there. At this point, I think it’s safe to say all the advice is out there. Unfortunately, advice is useless without context, and you need to provide the context. Several times, I’ve thought I made a real personal breakthrough, like, write-it-on-a-post-it-note-and-stick-it-to-your-monitor breakthrough, and then realized all of my seemingly complex thought are summarized by a cliched adage that’s been superimposed over countless photos of fields, beaches, and vintage bicycles on Pinterest.
What I’m about to say though is something that’s taken me 23 years to realize, and it’s a little sad, but it’s also true and kind of great.
In my experience, goodbyes are always disappointing.
Parties peter out. Hugs are short and awkward, with stilted, overlapping sentences. Sometimes, peoples’ hands are full. And a goodbye in public? With strangers shuffling past, getting a soda out of a machine, or reading their Kindle on a bench? Nothing is more tragic.
You graduate, planes take off, friends move away, and even though something ended, it doesn’t feel like you’ve moved on to the next level, because there are no cuts. There are no loading screens. There is no click, indicating you’re in the right position. You walk out the door, and there you are, still walking.
You can make a goodbye tolerable, but it’s hard to make it great, so don’t save it for the goodbye. Sometimes, there won’t even be a goodbye. Don’t wait. The good moments happen while they’re happening. Make sure you take advantage of that.
Scratch your dog behind his ears, because I guarantee you’re going to miss that. Get dinner with your friends and eat it slowly, then afterwards get drinks. Put down your work and go on an evening walk with your partner. And any compliment you think to give someone? Give it to them. Don’t wait for the goodbye.
The more you do this, the less power the goodbye has. You realize a goodbye is just a formality; a comma we hope doesn’t turn into a period. And ultimately, no one really cares about punctuation.