Posts Tagged: stress

Lady Jam: Total Eclipse of the Heart

I started to feel bad about singing in my apartment at 5:30 this morning, because the walls are so thin and I worried about waking my neighbors. Then I remembered that they keep having loud sex at 1:00 a.m. and waking me up. Until you can schedule your loud sex for a time when I’m not sleeping, YOU ARE JUST GOING TO HAVE TO HEAR TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE HEART BECAUSE SINGING IT IS PART OF MY MORNING ROUTINE RIGHT NOW.

Bonnie Tyler really is a glamorous gem, isn’t she? They don’t make ’em like that anymore. Can you guys tell I’m stressed out about moving? Total Eclipse of the Heart is really speaking to me. Oh man.

Lady Seminar: Stress Management for Women

Last week at work, I got an e-mail advertising a seminar called “Stress Management for Women.” I wasn’t aware that stress management techniques were different for men and women. Apparently, we ladies have special needs when it comes to stress!

Do you long for the ability to control the demands, pressures, and problems you face every day? Would you benefit from lowering your stress level and maintaining your composure in high-pressure situations? Get a handle on your tension and anxiety today!

As a woman, you face a unique set of personal and professional demands in your everyday life. The ability to manage the stresses of the workplace with those from your personal life can be overwhelming, especially when others seek you out for help with their problems and crises. Your emotions can also get in the way when you’re striving for perfection while juggling projects, priorities, and deadlines. Whatever stress triggers you struggle with … this training is here to help!

How I wish this seminar didn’t cost $199, or I’d attend myself and find out the secrets! As it is, I can only imagine the topics that will be covered:

-Penis Envy: How to Make it Work For You
-How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Oh My God I Can’t Stop Worrying
-How to Get Ahead in Business Without Really Having a Dick
-Working Around Your Period: How Understanding Your Cycle Can Change Your Management Style
-Boob: Who Needs PowerPoint?
-How to Stop Being Everyone’s Mom, Even Though You Want to be Everyone’s Mom
-Constructive Criticism, or Stop Crying, We’re Just Trying to Help You
-PMS Stands For Preventing and Managing Stress (And Also Pre-Menstrual Syndrome)